Wednesday, January 19, 2011

BITTERSWEET ABSENCE


                                [Photo Source: Google online image]
 
Their absence in my Life is a Bittersweet ache still – that throbs in the back of my Heart, whenever I think of them which is often – but actually all the time!

After all, when I left in 1978 at age 32, they had been my Family – my Loves – for more than half my Life!  He was age 36 and our child age 14  - we were so young to be living in a Family without Love!

Now, at age 65, I still feel the pain of separation – the void where once Family existed and Never would be again in my Life!

However, there were no other options back then, and the pain of "Family" was killing my spirit and body with the sickness of neglect, betrayal, lies, and Lost Love!

The Loss – ever fresh – in my Heart and mind – has Never healed!

Some deep wounds Never do – such as in my case!

Sad and puzzling – really – for there was NO Loss for them – they went on with their Lives – without me – as if I NEVER was there at all, or ever had been!

No wonder then, why I was dying a slow death, day by day, when I resided under the same roof with Them!

The Pain was so BAD – I was seeing two doctors and taking medicine to dull the emotional pain and trauma!

They were killing me slowly!

Moreover, They still are – in their Bittersweet Absence from my Life!
(Submitted by: Dorothy Hazel Tarr)


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

COOPERS HAWK -- Visitor to my Yard !


[PHOTO SOURCE: Top PIX--GOOGLE online images of COOPER HAWKS.   Second PIX from the top  is courtesy of my friend "SKY-BIRD".]


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Kind of Bird:   COOPERS HAWK

**SPECIAL THANK YOU to a special SKY-BIRD for identifying this bird  ( from photos I took of the bird these past few weeks as it sat on my fence and perched on a tree limb)  for finding a great PIX on the Internet and sharing it with me !!!        JUST  TERRIFIC !!!       
THANK YOU so-o much SKY-BIRD !!!**

A VERY SHORT note about this bird follows that I copied from the Internet from an excellent bird website (see below).

Among the bird world’s most skillful fliers, Cooper’s Hawks are common woodland hawks.

Adults are steely blue-gray above with warm reddish bars on the under parts and thick dark bands on the tail. Juveniles are brown above and crisply streaked with brown on the upper breast, giving them a somewhat hooded look compared with young Sharp-shinned Hawks' more diffuse streaking. They inhabit wooded habitats from deep forests to leafy subdivisions and backyards.

It is a bird of prey, and since it comes to my backyard almost daily, I do NOT plan on going outside when it in my yard. (Not that I am a 'fraidy-cat' !!)

WEB SITES for info about COOPERS HAWK are on the Internet and can be found by using GOOGLE search.

Below is a web site that is GREAT, for it gives a description, videos, photos, sounds, habitats, and other things.


My FAV web site for COOPER HAWK info is below.
http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Coopers_Hawk/id



video

[VIDEO above: my camera, my backyard, my voice]



[PHOTO SOURCE: Below PIXs from My camera, My backyard.]

Saturday, January 15, 2011

THE PLEASURE - THE ROMANCE



A Family Tale—A living history

After we have "heard" a FAMILY TALE or STORY, it then becomes our responsibility to pass the story along to FAMILY and FRIENDS and our CHILDREN; for now we become the STORY TELLER, and have the sacred honor and privilege of passing it on to FRIENDS, FAMILY, and CHILDREN.

In this way, the STORY continues; for you see, a FAMILY TALE or STORY is only "alive" during the telling, listening, and sharing.

If it isn't being told, the STORY dies, FAMILY LORE is lost, and the richness of our lineage is diminished.

The death of a FAMILY STORY is something we must never let happen, for they are our sacred heritage entrusted to our care.

These STORIES are good, remember them, for they help to explain some of the mysteries that we find around us, some things that happen in NATURE, in the FAMILY, in FRIENDSHIPS, and in RELIGIOUS BELIEFS.


Family Short Story

In the early 1950s, when I was in Second Grade, I lived for a time with my Maternal Grandparents on the tenant farm they worked and managed in the Township of Pond, which is located near Delano and is in the Central part of California.  It was a flat farming area for miles around with one gasoline station, one store, one elementary school, and one "STOP" sign.  (Use GOOGLE to view this area from your computer and get an aerial perspective.) 

It was during this slice of my life that I learned some of the greatest lessons that would stand me throughout my journey on our heavenly earth!  I have SO MANY memories of just "ordinary" daily living.  Getting up early.  Making my bed.  Dressing for a day of play, school, or church.  Playing in the farmyard.  Watering the "truck garden" and outdoor plants.  Feeding the chickens, pigs, horses, cows, and pets.  Checking the mousetraps.  Sweeping the floor (we had NO vacuum cleaner).  Preparing a meal.  Doing dishes.  Clothing wash day.  "Ironing" clothes, table clothes, pillowcases, Grandpa's handkerchiefs and Gram's aprons.  Playing with my doll.  Cutting out paper dolls from McCall magazines.  Splashing in the farm pond.  Listening to radio soap operas and programs as The Long Ranger, Dick Tracy, Burns and Allen, Bob Hope, Milton Berle, and more.  Celebrating birthdays and other special days as Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  These were the special days of my life that I remember today so fondly full of simple pleasures and the romance of discovery.

It seems sometimes the joy of life that comes with the simple pleasures and romance of daily living can be right in front of you, waiting to be noticed.  And, so much is missed in a hurried life, so that you can find yourself too busy to really enjoy the moment!

When my life gets too busy or my thoughts crowded, these simple pleasures are the first things I miss.  So an intimate awareness helps me slow down and "Stop and smell the roses".  Greeting the sunrise.  Celebrating a sunset.  Walking.  Gardening.  Painting.  Writing.  Listening to music.  Tuning into the rhythms of nature's symphony.  Connecting with dear ones.  This is living.  Slowing my pace allows me to savor the things that matter and feel fully present and real, just as I felt all those year ago living with my BELOVED Grandparents on the farm.

 There are moments in nature, when the simple pleasure of just listening to the frogs, ducks, and other nocturnal creatures rhapsodize of an evening, fill me to overflowing with enchantment.  Just this evening, I went out to enjoy the sunset after a beautiful day.  As the curtain of twilight lowered on the horizon, I began to hear the chorus of the Frog Colony that resides in the wild life reserve a short 200 yards from my front door, as they heralded the coming of the gathering darkness.  The romance of their chorus "lightened" the burdens of my day!

These are the simple pleasures of my life, the memories that stand out, the thoughts and actions that make my life feel very rich.

Sometimes the joy of life that comes with the simple pleasures and romance of daily living can be right in front of you, waiting to be noticed.  Some are so small that they could lie unnoticed right at your feet if your mind and body are racing and if you delay taking time to "Stop and Smell the Roses".

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Closing Thoughts

Here you have a Short Family Story of my BELOVED Maternal Grandparents.  This story began before they were born and continues after their passing, with their descendants and the many lives and hearts that they "touched". 

The testimony of FAITH, FAMILY, & FRIENDS that was the life of my WONDERFUL GRANDPARENTS is their legacy!! 

Grandpa and Gram, I LOVE and MISS you both every day of my life!
 
However, this is not the beginning for there are other family members that traveled this path before, and this is not the end for new generations are yet to come. 

This is just a short story for those family members that are interested in OUR FAMILY STORY and HISTORY.

I feel very honored to be a part of this FAMILY TREE. 
I love being a part of the history of this land. 
I love that my family were here before me ... and will be here after me.

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QUOTES

"At night I went out into the dark and saw a glimmering star and heard a frog, and NATURE seemed to say, Well, do not these suffice?"  [Ralph Waldo Emerson]

 "Stop and smell the roses" [Lyrics by Ringo Starr 1981]
"Stop and take the time to smell the roses,
Stop and take the time to fill your noses,
Stop as you stroll through life, ("pitter patter, pitter patter")
Stop and take the time to talk it over with your wife."
"Well, I was walking down the street the other day,
You know, and I said to myself, what's all this hurry,
What's all this hustle and bustle.
Why don't I just stop, look at the pretty roses,
Smell them for one moment, take the time to see,
Take the time to smell, have a good time in life.
Don't let ev''rything pass you by, you're only here once
And I've been here longer than most of you."
 
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Saturday, January 1, 2011

A LEGACY -- FAITH, FAMILY & FRIENDS

[PHOTO SOURCE:  Church of Christ, Delano, California, about 1942.  A photo from my box of family photos given to me by my Beloved maternal Aunt Gladys Iona Scott Dunlap (1892-1968).]

Family Short Story


In the 1950s (I was about 6 years old), I was living with my Maternal Grandparents LAUREL FLYNN SCOTT and (BETTY) MARY ELIZABETH BENNETT SCOTT on a tenant farm in the rural Township of Pond in Central California.  The first Church I remember attending was with my wonderful Maternal Grandparents at the Church of Christ in Delano, California.  The Church did not have a children's program or Sunday School, and the children stayed with the adults during services, so I sat with my Grandpa and Gram during the Church Service.  Sometimes I would fall asleep with my head in the lap of my maternal Gram Mary Elizabeth "Betty" Bennett Scott (1897-1980).  Many times, I sat on the floor at their feet and quietly played with coloring books. 
 
Going to that Church of Christ was not something we did every Sunday, for Grandpa worked VERY HARD on the tenant farm, and making time to travel the long drive to town was NOT always possible for a farmer.  (A photo of this Church of Christ taken about 1942 is posted here above.)

After Church service, everyone would leave the Church and assemble by the front door near or on the front door steps of the Church of Christ.  IF THOSE STEPS COULD SPEAK, how many stories would be heard!!!  While the grown-ups visited, I played with the other kids on the front lawn.  It seemed to me that the grown-ups took FOREVER doing their visiting and talking!!

 It was not until I was a grown-up, that I learned that my Grandpa Laurel Flynn Scott (1896-1979) and his older brother Raymond Cyril Scott (1894-1961) founded that small town Church of Christ, and that I appreciated the firm basis the Church was built on -- FAITH, FAMILY, & FRIENDS.

When I think about it now, I can almost "feel" how it felt to be a part of that Church and its close community!!  The testimony of FAITH, FAMILY, & FRIENDS that was the life of my WONDERFUL GRANDPARENTS is their legacy!!


Grandpa and Gram, I LOVE and MISS you both every day of my life!

Special Note

I used GOOGLE maps to see where the Church is now.  There was only one Church of Christ and it is located at 804 Jefferson Street, Delano, CA; (661) 725-3314.   

The "original" Church building -- in the above picture -- is no longer used by that Church.  When time permits, I am going to write the Church a letter and enclose a copy of this photo of the original Church of Christ; maybe they will have some interesting comments for me to add here!!


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